Birth Story: A Dad's Point of View

Birth Story: A Dad’s Point of View
Well Brianne has been asking me to do this for awhile and I’ve had a month to wrap my head around being a father. The diapers, lack of sleep, doc appointments, etc. Everything is so new and foreign to me and it’s all going by so fast. Until recently, I hadn’t had a chance to truly sit down and reflect on July 22nd, 2009. The days and weeks have gone by so fast and I’m a totally different person now than I was a little less than a month ago. I’m going to try my best to retell the day of my son’s birth from my perspective, so here goes J

Early Images
Every first time parent I believe has a view of how the day when your wife goes into labor will play out. For Brianne and I, this couldn’t have been more true. We watched the videos, read about birth stories, did our research and had it all planned out. For us we were going to have a 24 hour smooth labor that would start with mild contractions, then gravitate to a trip to the hospital, before finalizing with the birth of a baby boy. We made CD’s, brought the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, birthing ball, tennis balls (for back massages), bathing suits for the tub, walking shoes in case we had to take a few laps to get labor going. I mean you name it and we had it. For me, this is what I visualized: “Me sitting on the couch when Brianne tells me that she is going into labor. From this point I’d spring into action, getting all our stuff packed, slowly making her feel comfortable, and then getting ready to go to the hospital.” When we got to the hospital, I pictured a smooth check in, getting into our room, and starting the long road to delivery. THIS WAS NOT THE CASE…

Reality Sets In
ON July 22nd 2009 at about 5:30am, I was down stairs after just having took our dog Kona out for a walk (which I do pretty much every morning), I came back in, gave him a treat, and proceeded to make some coffee. Just another day like any other. Then I hear Brianne from upstairs, “Honey, I think it’s starting!” Normally this would’ve alarmed me, but I’d heard this everyday for the past 5 weeks (since we went into pre-term labor). I thought to myself, “Yeah right.” When I got upstairs, to my surprise, Brianne was doubled over in pain and breathing heavily. She says to me, “I’ve been timing these for the past hour and I think this is it.” Upon seeing my wife doubled over, which I’d never seen before, I immediately sprang into action thinking, “This is it! Hell yeah!” I got the car packed up and everything was going according to plan until her contractions started getting heavier and heavier and more frequent and I thought, “ Wait, this is supposed to happen at the hospital, those classes are full of sh%#.” Brianne then said, “Honey, we have to go!” So I grabbed Kona and we all hopped in the car. After getting to Brianne’s parents house, I dropped off Kona to find my wife with her knees on the floor of the passenger side and she was leaning over the seat. Thinking of safety first I thought, “Honey, you can’t sit like that.” She replied with no answer. I then said, “Honey, you can’t sit like that it’s not safe.” She glared at me as if staring into my soul and sad, “Shane, the fu** I can’t!” So I did what any other guy would do, I put the car in drive and didn’t say another word.

At the Hospital – YES!!!!!
So upon arriving at the hospital, we were greeted by a nice nurse who brought us out a wheel chair so that we could be “wheeled” to registration. Brianne could barely walk at this point so the chair was super helpful. We got to the counter and I said, “Woman in Labor!” Everyone looked at me like I was crazy and sort of went about their business. Then the desk clerk looked at Brianne, who was sobbing and said, “Honey are you ok?” I said, “She’s in labor!!!!” After that the nurses station was full of activity trying to get us a room. A few minutes later, we were in our room, the room where our son was going to be born. I remember feeling a strong sense of relief that we made it to the hospital, excitement for Jackson’s arrival, and sympathy for how much pain Brianne was in. I thought that my job was pretty much done and all I had to do was be there to soothe and support. Again, THIS WAS NOT THE CASE….

Labor and Delivery
To my surprise, Brianne got on the table in our room and was checked by the nurse who said, “Wow you are at about 7-8 cm dialated.” She said this with a very calm sort of “no big deal” type of a tone. I remember thinking to myself, “HOLY SHIT!!!!” The nurse then began hooking Brianne up to a few monitors while Chris (Brianne’s mom) and I tried to keep her comfortable. Now originally I thought labor was going to be a gradually slow process before the intensity picked up. Sort of like going swimming where you dip your toe in and then gradually get used to it before going all in. Nope! Chris and I got into position and were off on a rollercoaster ride. Chris and I did a good job I thought of keeping Brianne comfortable. I breathed with her while Chris talked her through her contractions and encouraged her to relax. It was going smoothly except for the occasional bump that I’d give Brianne where her IV was poked in. She’d give me a look that said, “I will kill you if you do that again.” Overall I was happy with the progress and Chris and I were proving to be an effective team. As we got closer and the doctor checked Brianne’s cervix again, I thought she was going to get an epidural, simply because she was in so much pain. I know I would’ve tapped out about an hour before that maybe two. When I heard, “She’s at 9 cm and almost there,” I was like holy crap, no epidural. To see my wife in so much pain just broke my heart. I had to do all I could to keep from crying…
As Chris and I guided Brianne through the latter stages of labor, she said that she felt an instinct to push, the nurse assigned to us said, “Ok, be sure to push at the height of your contractions and have your Mom and Husband hold your legs.” She showed us how to hold her legs and then left the room! I thought, “What the hell?!?!?!? You mean I have to do this? Isn’t someone going to take over for this part?” Panic set in a little and I tried not to let Brianne see it.
As Brianne screamed in pain at the end of each cycle of pushes, I couldn’t even comprehend how much pain she was in. I’ve always viewed my wife as someone tough who could and has endured a lot of pain, to hear her scream the way she was made her current state all the more real to me. As things progressed the nurse told her to stop pushing until the doctor arrived. As the doctor walked in she said, “ So how’s that epidural treating you?” Chris and I looked at eachother and said, “SHE DIDN’T GET ONE!!!!” The Doctor’s tone changed immediately and she got the room set up for delivery.

Welcome Jackson!
Back to what I visualized for the birth of my son, I imagined standing by Briannes’ shoulder looking down toward the area, and watching this baby emerge in all his glory, THIS WAS NOT THE CASE! Since Chris and I were holding Brianne’s legs, we stayed there as the doctor instructed her to push. On the first push I saw Jackson’s head pop out and immediately started crying. I was overcome with emotion in that split second and nearly dropped Brianne’s leg! On the second push, Jackson’s head and shoulders popped out and the doctor pulled him into the outside world, just 5 hours after Brianne had started labor. He was beautiful! He immediately started crying and had all of his digits. They took his temperature, weighed him, and I cut the cord. Then they placed him on Brianne’s chest and the three of us sat there together as a family for the first time. I was crying for several reasons mostly because I was so proud of my wife for what she’d just accomplished and to see my son for the first time. It’s a feeling I can’t describe and a day I’ll never forget. What a miracle life is!