Well yesterday was the dreadful day, the day of my surgery. I went into my surgery with high hopes and a positive outlook. I asked anyone and everyone to keep me and my family in their thoughts and prayers and said a few words to my God, asking for the best outcome possible. I think he got the message.
The procedure was expected to take 90 minutes and I was in & out of the OR in 30 minutes. At first, Shane thought something was wrong because my doc came into the waiting room 30 minutes after my procedure started - but my doc assured him that the surgery couldn't have gone better and I was doing just fine. The best part is that he DID NOT have to take my ovary! He got the tumor out just fine (showed us pictures and all) and I shouldn't have anymore problems.
So now I just need to spend the next few days recovering and taking care of myself. I think the hardest part is not being able to hold my precious son, Jackson. The nurse told me not to lift anything more than 5-10lbs.....well, Jackson is over 15lbs. So Shane is on daddy and mommy duty; and he is doing the best job ever. He is really pushing me to rest, take my pain meds and not lift one finger. I love him so much - he really is my rock.
We are also so very thankful for our parents who have helped take care of Jackson as well as Shane's sister, Leina and Katy DeSanctis for bringing us food. It's times like this that your true friends really stand out. We are so blessed and fortunate to have so many people reach out to us during this time- our friends ARE our family.....
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Price Tag on Happiness?
Although most of my posts are happy and positive, when I set out to do a blog I promised that with the family/pregnancy updates, I would also include somethings that are going on in our lives that aren't so pretty - today is one of those days. There have been some topics in my family's life right now that have been weighing on my mind, and I'm sure Shane's mind as well and it just feels right to share them and/or maybe just get them off my chest. PLEASE NOTE: I am very well aware that my problems COULD BE A LOT WORSE, I understand that. But these are MY problems, so if you don't want to partake in MY pity party, take your cursor to the upper right-hand corner where the red box with the white X is located, and click it.
I have to first off admit that I am one pretty happy and LUCKY gal. I have everything I have EVER wanted out of life. I have an adoring husband that loves me more than anything (and shows me on a daily basis) and I am more in love with him that I ever have been. A HEALTHY, amazing little boy that is so full of life, spunk and unconditional love that I get to stay home with during the first few months of his life. I have a home that isn't our dream home, but is a great first home that has absolutely nothing wrong with it and is a safe place that we can provide for our son. I have to say that NONE of this was given to me, I had to work pretty damn hard to get where I am today. Shane and I had to live with my parents for a year in order to afford our wedding, we tried for 8 months to get pregnant with Jackson (every month I cried when only 1 line showed up on the pregnancy test), and we had to work our BUTTS off to afford/get into our house. So I always ask, what more could a girl ask for right?
Sometimes I feel like all of my happiness comes with a price.
For Jackson: I have a tumor on my right ovary that must be removed. Along with the removal of the tumor, my ovary may be removed too. Not only can we not afford the surgery, I MAY HAVE AN OVARY REMOVED! Is Jackson worth it:
ABSOLUTELY!
For our home: Our job(s) are completely unstable and we BOTH will be unemployed next month, is our home worth it?
DEFINITELY!
For my happy marriage to the man of my dreams: mistakes from our past come back to haunt us and just WILL NOT GO AWAY financially, is our love worth it?
NO QUESTION!
For the best friends anyone could ever ask for: our car MUST have something wrong with it or break down every 6 months and each time we realized that we can't afford to get into a new car, is it worth it for the friends we have?
YOU BET!
I know the answers to all of these questions I ask myself, and the sayings are ALWAYS going through my head, "This too, shall pass" and "God won't give you anything you can't handle". But sometimes I just really want to ask God to throw a girl a bone. Let me bask in my happiness for a little bit before your throw me my next obstacle! I know I can handle the next one, and we WILL get through it, we always do - but let me just have ONE MONTH where I don't have to worry about making a mortgage payment, or the day I am going to have to drop my son off at daycare, or my car breaking down on the freeway with a hungry baby in the backseat. Just one month, please?
Okay, there, I did it. I wrote out a very personal blog that I'm sure will get flamed. Just remember what I said, these are MY problems - problems that I rarely share with anyone.....
I have to first off admit that I am one pretty happy and LUCKY gal. I have everything I have EVER wanted out of life. I have an adoring husband that loves me more than anything (and shows me on a daily basis) and I am more in love with him that I ever have been. A HEALTHY, amazing little boy that is so full of life, spunk and unconditional love that I get to stay home with during the first few months of his life. I have a home that isn't our dream home, but is a great first home that has absolutely nothing wrong with it and is a safe place that we can provide for our son. I have to say that NONE of this was given to me, I had to work pretty damn hard to get where I am today. Shane and I had to live with my parents for a year in order to afford our wedding, we tried for 8 months to get pregnant with Jackson (every month I cried when only 1 line showed up on the pregnancy test), and we had to work our BUTTS off to afford/get into our house. So I always ask, what more could a girl ask for right?
Sometimes I feel like all of my happiness comes with a price.
For Jackson: I have a tumor on my right ovary that must be removed. Along with the removal of the tumor, my ovary may be removed too. Not only can we not afford the surgery, I MAY HAVE AN OVARY REMOVED! Is Jackson worth it:
ABSOLUTELY!
For our home: Our job(s) are completely unstable and we BOTH will be unemployed next month, is our home worth it?
DEFINITELY!
For my happy marriage to the man of my dreams: mistakes from our past come back to haunt us and just WILL NOT GO AWAY financially, is our love worth it?
NO QUESTION!
For the best friends anyone could ever ask for: our car MUST have something wrong with it or break down every 6 months and each time we realized that we can't afford to get into a new car, is it worth it for the friends we have?
YOU BET!
I know the answers to all of these questions I ask myself, and the sayings are ALWAYS going through my head, "This too, shall pass" and "God won't give you anything you can't handle". But sometimes I just really want to ask God to throw a girl a bone. Let me bask in my happiness for a little bit before your throw me my next obstacle! I know I can handle the next one, and we WILL get through it, we always do - but let me just have ONE MONTH where I don't have to worry about making a mortgage payment, or the day I am going to have to drop my son off at daycare, or my car breaking down on the freeway with a hungry baby in the backseat. Just one month, please?
Okay, there, I did it. I wrote out a very personal blog that I'm sure will get flamed. Just remember what I said, these are MY problems - problems that I rarely share with anyone.....
Monday, October 5, 2009
Pumpkin Patch 2009
Yesterday we took Jackson on his first holiday excursion - the Pumpkin Patch. Although we know he's a bit young and can't really enjoy the meaning, I was dead set on starting a tradition that we can carry on for years to come.
We visited Craven Farms out in Snohomish and brought along the rest of the Makanani clan to include Papa & Grandma Makanani, Auntie Bub, Leina, Lincoln & Kea Manahan and the Boyce Family (Shane's cousins visiting from Bend, Or.). The day we chose couldn't have been better, the weather was beautiful and the farm wasn't crowded at all. We tried to carry Jackson in the Baby Bjorn, but he just wasn't having it - about 10 minutes into getting there he lost it, so Daddy & Mommy had to switch off carrying him. Eventually, after about 500 pictures, he fell asleep in my arms......hopefully next year he can stay awake and he can pick out his pumpkin.
Tonight.....pumpkin carving! Stay tuned!
We visited Craven Farms out in Snohomish and brought along the rest of the Makanani clan to include Papa & Grandma Makanani, Auntie Bub, Leina, Lincoln & Kea Manahan and the Boyce Family (Shane's cousins visiting from Bend, Or.). The day we chose couldn't have been better, the weather was beautiful and the farm wasn't crowded at all. We tried to carry Jackson in the Baby Bjorn, but he just wasn't having it - about 10 minutes into getting there he lost it, so Daddy & Mommy had to switch off carrying him. Eventually, after about 500 pictures, he fell asleep in my arms......hopefully next year he can stay awake and he can pick out his pumpkin.
Tonight.....pumpkin carving! Stay tuned!
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