This is our current struggle.
A little background: Shane grew up catholic - not a super strict catholic, but he and his sisters went to St. Pius Catholic school and attended church every Sunday. Shane was even an alter boy (I'd die to get a picture of that). His mom & childcare provider were VERY into the church and I believe a lot of Shane's morals and values came from his upbringing with his faith. When he was in his early 20's, he converted to Christianity to be with a chick. Nice Shane, nice. But in all seriousness, he likes Christianity better and if it were up to him - this would be the chosen religion our family would practice.
My family? We were "that family" that attended church on the holidays that coincided with a great outfit to show off, Christmas & Easter. I swear, my mom only made us go to church on those specific days because she sewed us all matching outfits and wanted to display her amazing craftsmanship....sorry mom, the truth hurts. I was baptized Lutheran (the religion my mom was brought up with), but never practiced this religion. I think I can count on my hand the number of times I've opened up a bible, and most of the time, it was to make it look like I was reading something when I was actually falling asleep.
Current struggle: Shane definitely wants to get Jackson baptized, and I fully understand why. He wants our family to have a belief system, faith, somewhere to turn, a support system - again, I fully understand this. So what's my problem, right? This is my problem; I don't 100% agree with a lot of the beliefs that Christianity preaches. I don't want to go into it and make a list, or my blog entry will last forever. But to me, if you don't believe 100% into something, why follow it and dedicate your life to it? I feel like I'd be half-ass, a poser, a faker. Just doing it to do it, and to me, that isn't right. I want to do it for the right reason, because I believe. So how do I do this? How do I believe?
Another thing I am struggling with are Godparents. Mine sucked. Shane's are awesome - his godmother even attended my BABY SHOWER! Because he has great ones, and I had crappy ones - it makes it that much more important to make the right choice for Jackson. We want to find 2 people that have a great belief system, but are more spiritual than bible thumpin'. We want them to be readily available to Jackson, so if he is in need of their guidance - they will be there. We want their values & morals to be similar to ours - and most importantly, we want them to love Jackson like we love him. So, we are currently in search of his perfect Godparents, but before we even make that all-important choice, there is a bigger decision to make.....what religion will we practice?
3 comments:
It's funny how kids get us thinking about this. I definitely agree that it's important to find a community to be apart of. I started going to church after having my first daughter. Well, back to church. I grew up in church but there were a lot of things that I didn't like. Mostly how everyone tried to act so perfect and seemed to ignore people's lives if they were "on the outside". When my daughter was a baby I found a church that was very socially concious and I loved that. I don't think I agreed with things 100% but I don't think that's being fake. As long as you're not lying about it to people. I actually still have conversations with girls from my church about things we don't agree on. We just agree on the basics when it comes to God and Jesus and Love and that's what makes us a community. I mean, being there for each other even if we have different opinions about things. I really think the key is finding the right fit when it comes to church.
And as for godparents, we don't have any for our kids. We've really slacked in the area of even christening/dedicating our kids. But I'm always on the lookout for people who can be in our kids lives and be a positive influence. The people have changed throughout the years, with the exception of relatives, so I guess we're the constants for them.
Sorry for the long comment, but I hope to have helped or encouraged in some way:)
We had a similar situation...however it was me who wanted to baptize our daughter (I'm catholic) and my husband was a little against it (he's a non practicing protestant). While I don't fully agree with a lot of what is taught in the catholic religion, I rationalize that I am offering my daughter and any future children, the opportunity to be educated about religion, the bible, certain beliefs, etc... It is their choice to continue to follow this religion as an adult. I am also a strong believer in the benefits that growing up with a religion (any religion) can have for a child (structure, a sense of community, additional education not taught in public schools, etc...). Because I felt so strongly about this, my husband agreed to raise our children catholic, but he doesn't go to church with us consistently :(
Good luck with your decision!
Wow...your situation sounds relatively similar to mine. My husband was raised in a family that was very big into church---his grandfather/father figure was even a reverend. My dad grew up in a small town and their whole family attended Catholic church every Sunday. By the time I was growing up, my parents didn't practice anymore, but I was baptised when I was 2. My godparents sucked as well.
I was always a believer, but more spiritual rather than religious and really turned away from a lot of churches because I found them to be too judgmental, etc.
My husband and I wanted our kids to have faith and learn about religion and we ended up finding a GREAT church (EastLake Community Church) that we both fell in love with. They are accepting of who you are, no matter where you've been, not judgmental...just an all around great place with good morals and lots of support. We've made a lot of good friends along the way who are positive influences on our kids. We also don't fully agree with everything either, but that's the beauty of it--- you don't have to. :)
Anyway, we did a baby dedication for both our kids as they don't do baptisms for young children. The idea is that the dedication symbolizes the parents' commitment to raise their child inside the faith and help teach them about religion. Baptisms are reserved for an older age when a child is old enough to choose for themselves if that is the path they want to take instead of someone choosing for them. It's their own personal commitment.
Sorry for the long-winded novel, but I thought I'd share with you in case it helped at all.
Post a Comment